tonight i saw a guy i thought was really cute
and had the sense enough to stop myself before my mind got too carried away
starting to self-regulate my desires in order to protect my heart
i think i am getting better
at times living in this body is humiliating
at times it feels like a betrayal
the things projected onto me before i am even able to disprove them
so my existence feels like constantly making up for it
i feel so damaged
but i am learning to disconnect
i am learning to not expect too much
