AKA get a new fetish. “I hear feet and urine are popular,” or so says a Youtuber who I follow, but whose name I forget.
Look, it’s not a compliment when white people say things like, “Asians are hot,” or “I want an Asian wife.”
Because let’s face it, you’re not actually attracted to us. You’re attracted to the delicate, China-doll, lily-blossom, submissive and subservient stereotype of what we should be. You’re attracted to the “traditional” values of male dominance, misogyny, and patriarchy you would supposedly enjoy with an Asian partner.
And that is very deeply racist (and sexist, but we’ll get to that later) not only because you are clumping an entire population of highly diverse and different individuals together, but also because of the historical context of it. And because of the way the sexualisation of FAAB Asians have led to all manner of things to be done to us, including a disproportionately high rate of sex trafficking. What’s problematic about fetishizing Asians (and other groups, like the Roma or Native Americans, but since this is a blog about China and pan-Asiatic issues, I’ll leave that to a more erudite & educated person to talk about, because I speak mostly from my experience and the experiences of other Asians) is that you are stripping them of their humanity. You are stripping them of their identities. They become objects to you — to own, the possess, to dominate, to treat however you wish.
And this comes from a long, long history of Western nations and people seeking to exert power and dominance over the East. As a direct result of this fetishization, we are seen as being Not Suitable for Things Like Marriage — we’re to be used and then dumped as the hero of our story shacks up with a more virtuous (white) lady — see Puccini’s Madame Butterfly and just about every film Anna May Wong was ever in. We’re not seen actual people. This leads to the complete removal of our agency (that’s not to say that any sex with an FAAB Asian is sex without consent — it is a different type of nonconsent in that our bodies have been sexualised and eroticised for us — that we have no say in the way we want ourselves to be presented — our bodies are not sexual when we want them to be sexual, they are sexual, in essence, all the time, and our bodies are not our own — they are seen, more or less, as public property), especially in the media.
(Honestly, I do want to talk about the virgin/whore dichotomy and how both stereotypes — the Lily Flower and the Dragon Lady — are severely sexist and racist, but I can’t quite gather my thoughts about it, nor can I write it in an organised manner and without a significant amount of cussing.)
Now, why is it sexist? Because it sexualises an entire population. A sexual individual is no problem whatsoever. But impressing sexuality on a group that may or may not want to be identified as such, that may or may not want to be sexualised is not, in any way, okay.
Because it is reaffirming the idea that in order to be desirable, one must be submissive and subservient to the men in their lives.
Because it tells FAAB Asians that their worth is not in their individual person, but rather in how they look and how much they can be defined by a sexual context constructed by outsiders who have little to no understanding or respect for their culture. Because it confines them to a sexual identity that is forced on them rather than one that they adopt for themselves.
Because it expects that FAAB Asians would actually be willing and accepting of these sexist and racist sentiments.
Because it maintains that we should be passive actors in our own lives, that we live to serve and please. Because it wants our mouths shut for everything but blowjobs. Because it demeans our sense of self, because to be called “exotic” is anything but an ego boost, because we’re not supposed to have brains or opinions of our own.
So to you, the Asian fetishist, I say, fuck you, fuck you, fuck all of you.
